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[MX: drums and bass]
DM: Dear Mom and Dad. I’m
having the best time visting grandma. I made a new friend
at the playground today. Her name is Becky and she has ADHD
just like me. It’s good to know I’m not the only
one. Becky says her Mom and Dad are giving her Gullabrex 3.0
for ADHD. What’s Gullabrex?
Love, Britney
p.s. Grandma is pooping her polyester pants
again.
[mx: drums/bass OUT; guitar in]
LTL: (compassionately) Gullabrex
3.0 is a gentle, caring way to chemically adapt to the world
around you. My name is Dr. Brett McCallister...you might remember
me from such infomercials as “Sea Monkeys: Our Underwater
Friends” and “Talk to the Hand.”
I’m here today to talk about Gullabrex
3.0. Millions of Americans have already switched from their
expensive, funny-named medications to Gullabrex, and I’m
pretty sure I know why. With a minimum of unpleasant side
effects, the newly-upgraded Gullabrex 3.0 goes to work right
away to alleve all those unpleasant human condition symptoms.
With the proper dosage, young Britney’s
grades and popularity could soar, and Grandma’s dependence
on Depends could wane. From ADD to OCD, Impotence to Omnipotence,
from Halitosis to Hemorrhoids, Gullabrex will fix you right
up.
Why not make the switch to Gullabrex 3.0
today? Now available in chewable and inhalable form. For a
free sample, visit your local pharmacy or order online at
Gullabrex4me.com.
Gullabrex 3.0. The world is your oyster...why
not swallow it whole?
[mx OUT]
rH: Credit approval,
doctor activity fee and service agreement required. Offer
available at participating pharmaceutical ventures. Certain
other restrictions and additional charges will apply. See
store for details.
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